Tell your mom I’m with your son.
Those words… etched in my brain so deeply, like they were delivered yesterday. Each time I think of them I am transported to the exact moment they were shared with me. That heart-pounding, stomach flip-flopping, is-this-real-ing, tears-streaming moment. You see… I was given the gift of that experience, that knowledge, during an encounter with a woman I loved so; about three years before my son was born. And as we just celebrated his first birthday this past weekend, it feels beyond important, almost integral to share. Not with only my nearest and dearest, but with all who are sure to be missing loved ones this holiday season…
I LOVE my family & I’m so proud of where I come from. My mom is the oldest with 6 siblings underneath her. You better believe that made for many-a-fantastic parties. Each of my aunts and uncles bring their own strength and style to the table. We’ve got funny, soft-spoken, subtle, gentle, wise, charming, and crazy-ornery covered! 😉 You know as I write this, I would bet that they don’t give themselves the credit they deserve. (So let’s go ahead and add humble to that list, shall we?) Each one is so sharp – there isn’t much that goes unnoticed (or teased-about). One aunt kinda always cut to the chase with me… no skirting around the information she was interested in learning about. It was crazy-great. And I felt safe sharing things with her. There were three separate questions over my adulthood that stand out to me like they happened yesterday.
“Could he be the one?”
“Are you two thinking about having children?”
“Do you think I’ll be okay?”
The last was upon learning that she was battling pancreatic cancer. I gave her a definitive yes on each of them. I married the “he” she was asking about; I shared with her my plans for children (even though I had been pretty quiet about this with everyone else); and I thought she would be okay. Or hoped so, anyway.
On March 13th, 2011, my Aunt Theresa returned Home. I’m the first person to admit that I’m not the best with grief. I seem to do better with denial. If I don’t face it, then maybe, just maybe it doesn’t have to be real. I also like action and prefer to be helpful, more comfortable in the “support system” role. So, I did what I usually do. I tried to be there for my mom. Who was so angry. She is older… her younger sister has children… those children had blessed her with grand babies that she would not get to see grow up. And although I have always believed in more – angels, God, & the “other” side, that part stung the most – for ALL of us.
As I pursued my healing certification I attended many, many classes focused on mediumship and connecting with those who had crossed. I would show up to each class hoping it’d be the day that I would hear from her. And every time, if I received a reading at all, it was from someone or about something else. I’d leave, a little deflated and wondering… Maybe I wasn’t ready?
Finally, about 7 months into my studies, I sat in my Reiki III training class, getting ready for my attunement. This is the sacred process where a Reiki Master transfers the ability to be a conduit of the Reiki energy on to you. This beautiful ceremony begins with a meditation and we are told to ask our angels, guides, and deceased loved ones who are present to move closer (if we feel comfortable doing so). I felt more comfortable with this request that day, than I ever had before. So, I asked. First, I had a glimpse of my grandmother and then, off in the distance in my sacred, safe place, I saw her. And she was not alone.
Right before me was my Aunt Theresa. She was vibrant, healthy, and whole. No signs of the terrible disease that took her from us. And she was holding the hand of an adorable little boy… he looked to be about three years old, dressed in period clothing (think 1920’s), a little newsboy or flat cap that was barely covering long, light brown tresses. I looked back and fourth at the two of them, breathless.
When her eyes connected to mine (time had slowed big-time for me, I was probably-not-surprisingly stunned), she smiled and said:
“Tell your mom, I’m with your son.”
I know it wasn’t a long “conversation”. But there was so much that came through with that powerfully delivered sentence… perfectly timed and placed for me, enabling me to trust what was unfolding during that attunement. My aunt was aware of what I had been trying to help my mom work through (this was not common knowledge), I would be having another child and a little boy at that (something I wasn’t considering at the time – my little girl had JUST started sleeping through the night – haha!). Shoot, maybe my sweet little guy spent some time in the 20’s or is an old-soul? His light features… so vivid, and surprising to me – especially because his dad is half Japanese, half Filipino. And, although she spoke to what I was going through personally, it was clear that the overall point was that she is still with each of us.
You see… I know it doesn’t hurt any less when we are here and not able to physically see, touch, or feel those who have gone before us, but please hear me when I say that the connection we have doesn’t die with our physical bodies. Love doesn’t end; only becomes more… Divine. And our earth angels really do become our heavenly ones.
There weren’t many surprises for us upon learning we were expecting our second baby (my daughter was 1.5 when I saw my aunt & little boy during that attunement)… Ultra-sounds are pretty anti-climatic & there’s no need for a gender reveal party when you’ve already been given a peek at the soon-to-be-newest member of your family. It’s kind of funny when they say “It’s a boy!” and your response is, “Uh-huh, we know.” (We may or may not have received more than a few perplexed looks during my pregnancy. Haha!)
You might be wondering why it took so long for me to share… Honestly, I’m not sure. Probably equal parts fear that I was crazy (did I make the whole thing up, what if it’s a girl?) & nerves over doing it “right”. One thing I know for certain though… when that thought just won’t go away? Nagging, err, I mean, nudging in your mind/subconscious? It’s time to do something with it… or go insane as your guides & loved ones keep pestering you until you do take their guidance. And, prior to feeling comfortable posting here, I wanted to share this with my Aunt Theresa’s beautiful daughter-in-law. There was an urgency. It seemed reeeeaaaallllyyy important to get the story to her & it wasn’t until hours after I had sent it that I realized it was her birthday. Coincidence?